september 3, 2022
I miss her when I don't see her for long periods of times. My heart flutters when I kiss her. Waking up with her feels natural and drinking coffee on her couch in the morning is my favorite. I like when she randomly kisses my cheek in public. I like when she tells me I'm pretty. I like knowing about her entire day. I like when she holds my hand in bed. I like cuddling on the couch and talking about our childhoods and the high school versions of ourselves — how different we were back then but how we still the same.
The other day we were baking a cake and I asked her if I was in her way in the kitchen and she said "No, you're beautiful" and it made me like her more.
I feel like this is starting to emerge more than just a crush and that it could be love. I always wondered what it would be like to fall in love and maybe it's this. It's comfort and excitement all at once. It's feeling safe and appreciated and seen. Maybe it's knowing that she'll be there tomorrow and the day after that. Maybe it's making plans and following through.
I think I love her and she's not even my girlfriend.
xo